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Random captions whenever I get a wild hair to make them. No schedule or consistent pattern.

"Ungh, fuck," Agent Gutierrez swore.

Her arrival on the scene of this latest crime brought raucous cheers from those who waited. As an arm of the ATF, she trained intensively to keep semiautos out of gang member hands and hard drugs off the streets. Five years into her career, all her hard work of lining shots at the shooting range and sifting through evidence for vital clues paid off... until one fateful day when the wrong photo of her hit the presses.

Now her reputation preceded her with ogling eyes and wolf whistles directed squarely on her ass.

If she had her say, she would approach the catcallers and flip one over to show she meant business. But the Bureau couldn't afford another incident of excessive force. That's why, when she heard...

"Hey hot cheeks, they better call in the squad cause your ass is packing heat!"

... she turned, looked at the man and smiled.

"Thank you, sir," she said while clenching her teeth. "It's my honor to serve."

She wasn't alone. As misfortune had it, the same photo that ruined her image and got her name across the country dragged a second victim in tow. Approaching the crime scene, she waved to her partner in law.

"I see they have you at it again, Agent Stoltz."

Angie Stoltz, as the papers learned and shared, had a new uniform to go with her infamy. The words "WIDE LOAD" stretched across her butt, its seat unzipped to show her crack. Through its tightness, Maya Gutierrez saw the vivid imprint of Angie's phone pressed tightly against her cheek. It had become Angie's calling card in the field, something to ensure the public knew exactly who she was.

"Yep," Agent Stoltz answered. Leaning against a police car, she shifted as another man inspected her asshole.

"You're really packing on the pounds, aren't ya Stoltz?"

"Yes, sir," she sighed. An uncomfortable grunt joined his deep probing with a metal stick.

Although her giant rear became her claim to fame, her chest was no slouch, freely spreading across the car's hood in her ATF crop top. In the old picture, one could see tattoos of snakes, flowers, birds, typical shit. She had new ones on her lower back designed to appeal to gangsters.

HANDS UP
DICKS DOWN

Those eloquent words had tattoo dicks aimed at her free use hole. By the reports since getting them, Agent Stoltz's ass figured in plenty of drug busts purely from the attraction of a chance to play with it. As was clear this time, when the man pulled something out of it.

"Another bag of cocaine," he announced.

She winced at the third bag they'd found lodged inside her. She had become something of a pro at judging size and volume over these past six months, and from experience alone, she knew they had plenty more to go.

Compared to Stoltz, Agent Gutierrez had it easy. But she still had her own troubles. Strutting closer, she audibly groaned when her stretched out elastic pants reached their limit and split open in back, to the delight of gathered onlookers. A few flashes of light in the crowd reminded her how quickly she would find her name on social media paired with this sight, especially on the popular parody account Agent_Gutierrass dedicated to different angles paired with made up failures.

The first time she saw a tweet announcing how she supposedly blew a sting by her earpiece slipping down her waistband to have her literally talking out of her ass, she flew into a rage and looked for avenues to have it dealt with. By the thousandth time, she simply rolled her eyes and carried on with her assigned tasks.

The Bureau-issued butt plug stuck out from the gaping rip. In a pinch, she could yank it out, extend it to full length and beat a handsy suspect with the anal baton. She rarely had occasion to do so. More often, it stayed lodged in there tight and firm because she had to play along with what the culprits wanted.

"Alright, where do you want me?" Maya asked the commanding officer on scene.

"On stage. We need a distraction while we get agents in place to take this drug ring down."

"Got it," she said. Not her first time shaking what she had for crooks until they had guns pointed at their heads. No longer fazed by the demands of her demoted role, she glanced over to see how well Agent Stoltz fared with hers.

"Are we sure this is cocaine?" the man prodding Stoltz asked.

"Only one way to find out." The other agent, snatching the fourth bag, cut it open and shoved it in Stoltz's face. "What's that big schnoz of yours say about this batch?"

Angie snorted deep, jerked her head back and scrunched her nose. Her upper lip peeled up as she coughed, bringing her tits and ass to a jiggle. "Yeah, yeah that's the real deal."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should take another hit to confirm."

"No, I don't need-" She didn't get to finish that thought. Every inch from tip to bridge was coated in the powdery white stuff. Her nostrils tingled and burned with an overload that had already started on her mind. Within seconds, she had succumbed to the sensations enough not to care when they flicked and pinched her nipples.

"Gutierrez!"

Maya bolted upright at attention.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, sir."

"Then get your ass where it belongs."

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