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Random captions whenever I get a wild hair to make them. No schedule or consistent pattern.

Jenny Slate and the World's Smallest Pussy


"Come on, come on!"

Jenny Slate grimaced while lining up her tiny toothpick with her tinier twat. People thought her shirt was a joke. 'World's Smallest Pussy'. In a world where people valued tight vaginas and saw looseness as a sign of slutdom, those words looked like commentary on sexism and double standards when really they announced her terrible condition for every man that might want to fuck her.

That list got shorter each time she dropped her pants and spread her legs to reveal a cunt so small she couldn't even fit her pinky inside it. Let alone someone's dick.

"You fucker!" Jenny shouted as the blunted tip kept slipping. Once in a while she managed to prick her clit and feel a brief twinge of pleasure. That elusive goal sustained her through the thin long stick sliding down the sides of her bald quim. "Fine, be that way."

Lifting her shirt, she played with her likewise small nipples. Unlike below, these thumbtack sized bits responded when she touched them. She didn't need the hands of a surgeon and a mirror to feel something from her little boobs. Not enough to squeeze, but at least enough to pinch and rub. She could run a finger over them and enjoy a buzz. The same couldn't be said for her pathetic pussy. She could still feel her last one night stand desperately trying to ram his completely average cock into her fuckhole and getting nowhere. In his drunken stupor, he had spent a solid five minutes pounding her crotch until his prick bent and sprained to the wall that was pussy.

And any time one of the men complained, she simply pointed to her shirt. It didn't stop them from leaving in a huff or sending their medical bills to her lawyers, but they couldn't say she hadn't warned them.

"Pleeeeeeeeeease," she nasally whined. "You're supposed to want the D. How do you expect me to find a man when you won't do your part."

She stabbed at it in short jerks, hoping against hope that her toothpick dildo would penetrate and widen her twat, when her hand cramped. She dropped the dildo and sucked in a breath while massaging her palm. With a heavy sigh, she sat and stared at her crotch, wondering what she had ever done to deserve being saddled with the world's smallest pussy.

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