It all started with a hot mic. A single bad day, a solid ten minutes of the most degrading comments anyone ever heard spoken live on national television. Now it was up to her to make it right. Her, the golden (haired) young press secretary, who always knew exactly what would make the president happy. She stood behind the podium in her white dress jacket ready to do it again.
Smiling, Kayleigh McEnany began this conference with the most delighted, unwavering display of conviction she could show as she said the fateful words.
"By now you've heard the president's comments about me yesterday. You have questions, and I'm here today to tell you everything he said is true. I do eat shit. It's my favorite meal of the day, and I'd gladly eat it any time the president asks."
She couldn't, and wouldn't, blush. She'd trained herself for this. Camera clicks and furious scribbling from the press pool tested her, but Kayleigh held firm with an even broader grin certain to make her face the prime, and very literal, example of everyone's favorite idiom. A raised hand broke the dead air. She called it.
"What do you say to the president saying you, quote, 'look like a truck stop whore'?"
"I'm very proud. That's the look I'm going for. Every morning, I slather on tons of makeup and tease my hair to look like someone that fucks men in semis for twelve bucks an hour. Next question."
"Is it true you give oral sex to anyone who will listen to you talk?"
"Absolutely. As the White House Press Secretary, it's my job to open my mouth. Sometimes that means wrapping it around a big fat cock or, like the president said, letting them dump a huge load on my face."
"So the part about being a kiss ass"
"Is 100% true. Real brown noser here. I'll tongue out anyone's asshole to get ahead. Want me to eat yours?"
That one left a pit in her stomach. She could imagine the political cartoons already underway. Some part in the back of her mind would have sent her screaming from the room, if she hadn't shut it off years ago. As a career liar, she didn't have the luxury of dignity, or class. She had to sell the lies like she sold her soul: cheaply. But the selling didn't stop there.
WHHHHZZZZZ!
That was the sound of her ass getting reamed. The microphone in her panties captured it perfectly, blasting it from speakers for everyone to hear. Confusion spread about the room, until Kayleigh leaned into her podium and moaned as loud as she could. Her whole body shook from the power between her cheeks. With a fake laugh, she lifted herself upright and shouted over the huge toy laying into her.
"THAT'S MY BUTT PLUG. I'M AN ANAL BITCH, JUST LIKE THE PRESIDENT SAID."
This idea was hers. Try as she might, she knew she wasn't THAT good of a liar. So when the president told her what lie to tell the plebs, it took her only a few minutes away from their favorite landscaping company to pick out the biggest, fattest vibrating dildo from the shop next door. It did its job as well as she did her, destroying her hole from inside with gusto.
"BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, MY PUSSY IS WET. I'M ALWAYS HORNY FOR ATTENTION."
She still had another half an hour left. Time she would spend putting out one fake confession after another. Because unlike other women, she didn't need an executive order.
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It all started with a hot mic. A single bad day, a solid ten minutes of the most degrading comments anyone ever heard spoken live on national television. Now it was up to her to make it right. Her, the golden (haired) young press secretary, who always knew exactly what would make the president happy. She stood behind the podium in her white dress jacket ready to do it again.
Smiling, Kayleigh McEnany began this conference with the most delighted, unwavering display of conviction she could show as she said the fateful words.
"By now you've heard the president's comments about me yesterday. You have questions, and I'm here today to tell you everything he said is true. I do eat shit. It's my favorite meal of the day, and I'd gladly eat it any time the president asks."
She couldn't, and wouldn't, blush. She'd trained herself for this. Camera clicks and furious scribbling from the press pool tested her, but Kayleigh held firm with an even broader grin certain to make her face the prime, and very literal, example of everyone's favorite idiom. A raised hand broke the dead air. She called it.
"What do you say to the president saying you, quote, 'look like a truck stop whore'?"
"I'm very proud. That's the look I'm going for. Every morning, I slather on tons of makeup and tease my hair to look like someone that fucks men in semis for twelve bucks an hour. Next question."
"Is it true you give oral sex to anyone who will listen to you talk?"
"Absolutely. As the White House Press Secretary, it's my job to open my mouth. Sometimes that means wrapping it around a big fat cock or, like the president said, letting them dump a huge load on my face."
"So the part about being a kiss ass"
"Is 100% true. Real brown noser here. I'll tongue out anyone's asshole to get ahead. Want me to eat yours?"
That one left a pit in her stomach. She could imagine the political cartoons already underway. Some part in the back of her mind would have sent her screaming from the room, if she hadn't shut it off years ago. As a career liar, she didn't have the luxury of dignity, or class. She had to sell the lies like she sold her soul: cheaply. But the selling didn't stop there.
WHHHHZZZZZ!
That was the sound of her ass getting reamed. The microphone in her panties captured it perfectly, blasting it from speakers for everyone to hear. Confusion spread about the room, until Kayleigh leaned into her podium and moaned as loud as she could. Her whole body shook from the power between her cheeks. With a fake laugh, she lifted herself upright and shouted over the huge toy laying into her.
"THAT'S MY BUTT PLUG. I'M AN ANAL BITCH, JUST LIKE THE PRESIDENT SAID."
This idea was hers. Try as she might, she knew she wasn't THAT good of a liar. So when the president told her what lie to tell the plebs, it took her only a few minutes away from their favorite landscaping company to pick out the biggest, fattest vibrating dildo from the shop next door. It did its job as well as she did her, destroying her hole from inside with gusto.
"BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, MY PUSSY IS WET. I'M ALWAYS HORNY FOR ATTENTION."
She still had another half an hour left. Time she would spend putting out one fake confession after another. Because unlike other women, she didn't need an executive order.