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Random captions whenever I get a wild hair to make them. No schedule or consistent pattern.

Royal Treatment: Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sucksex


Meghan Markle's first mistake was becoming part of the British royal family. Her second mistake was leaving it.

Despite the royal family's failures to protect Kate Middleton and Princess Di, they still commanded enough power and respect to protect their reputations. The worst misdeeds stayed out of papers. Their actions, attributed to other women, sometimes real and sometimes fake. No one needed to know what Kate's boobs looked like or how many men Princess Diana fucked.

EVERYONE needed to know the punishment for abandoning one of the most respected, historic families in history, regardless of reason. And everyone would know, as news broadcast it live across the world with a chyron to be remembered.

BREAKING NEWS: MEGHAN MARKLE BECOMES DUCHESS OF SUCKSEX


The media blamed anti-royalists who abducted Meghan to make a statement - and what a statement it was! The duchess, truly, had no clothes. Paraded down the streets of London, Meghan sat in a carriage with a replica of her wedding tiara and veil. She smiled and waved sheepishly at gawking onlookers, who filmed and snapped away for footage of Meghan's naked body on full display.

Suddenly, the microphone in front of her screeched alive. She bent over to read what was on the screen. For a moment, her fake grin faded, then it returned while she read her cues that blasted from speakers along the carriage.

"Today, freed from the shackles of the crown, I begin a new chapter in my life of... whoring myself!?"

As soon as the words hit home, she started shouting her disgust with it, to no avail. The sound had already cut out, replaced by their contingency of an audio deepfake saying exactly what they had hoped the real Meghan would spout under threat.

"I love my new title as the Duchess of Sucksex, because that's all I ever wanted, to be known for giving blowjobs. That's why I left the family. They wouldn't let me fuck whoever I wanted. Watch, I'll show you how good I am at giving head right now!"

She didn't have time to think. Within seconds, a man dressed like a royal guard grabbed her head and forced her mouth on his dick. Sucking him off, she followed his direction to turn where a side view could best capture her on her knees, hands placed on his ball sack where he moved them, for a perfect photo op.

Her bewildered and horrified gaze did nothing to distract from her bulging cheek, or the fancy and very inexpensive pearl necklace above her pert and small rack. Sunlight made her shiny enough to glow, only this time it made her look less like a blushing bride and more like a harlot eager for a shag. The judicious application of oils clearly had its intended effect.

Without any kind of escape, Meghan got to work proving she deserved her new title - not for her expertise, but lack of it. Her real life virgin inexperience translated well into a sense of buffoonery, sloppily taking the man in her mouth and making him softer by the second. There was, after all, a reason they didn't give her a more respectable porn title like Blowjob Queen.

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